Terror Terror Terror

These guys are looking to harness the 'power' of the 'internet' to publish a collaborative book. No less than 60 authors have contributed. What a novel idea, right? What a wild chance to experiment with varying styles, voices, characters! Hell you could write a book about a single event witnessed by 60 different characters each with their own voice, their own interpretation, their own life. You could write a multigenerational tail of the vast and varied experiences of human existence. This is new! This is novel! This is exciting, and suprising, and furiously original!

This is not what they are doing.

No, the men behind this book have wisely decided to make it an antiterror novel. The premise? Well, its an action novel, thank god. An action novel about "a moderate Muslim [that] takes a stand against the radical terrorists. He hires operatives from the West to terrorize the terrorists." Utter and total brilliance. Move over Jason Bourne, stand aside Jack Bauer, get out of the way whoever that guy in XXX was. This actually kind of sounds like the plot of Munich, but you know, shitty.

Here's the best part: the title of this book is Terror, Terror, Terror. One just wasn't enough, apparently. The subtitle? The Solution to Muslim Terror. I think that maybe they think pretty highly of their premise. I wonder about their political orientation, what their agenda is with this book. Gee...

Back to it being a collaborative novel. The whole thing is available for download in Microsoft Word. All 187 manuscript pages. You can add whatever you want. This is your chance to be an author. You can change the course of the plot, you can change the course of history by adding your two cents to the greatest novel ever written. Ever. By anyone. Ever.

Need ideas? Here are some:

exadore: you should just start adding ridiculous shit

phil: that's basically my plan but i want to get a feel for how ridiculous it already is, although the idea sounds hilarious

exadore: you should end it by having everyone die. and then they wake up and it was all a dream and its really 1985 and america is great and reagan is wonderful and 9/11 never existed. hallalujah! shalom!

phil: hahahahahaaha

exadore: that would be sweet if you did that. i would laugh forever

phil: do they just accept whatever anybody adds in?

exadore: i don't know, but they said you have to tell them where you added stuff so they don't have to hunt through the whole manuscript for it. i guess they never heard of 'track changes' in word. so you could probably just add whatever wacky shit you want wherever you want and not tell them

phil: hahaha. i love the internets!

exadore: like have the president eat a fucking baby or something for lunch but just have it be totally normal. or replace every instance of the word 'freedom' with 'cervical cancer'.

phil: well with the magic find/replace feature of MS Word, that's quite simple!

exadore: indubitably!

But don't expect to get paid for your genius efforts. "All author royalties will be donated to charity earmarked for use after the next terrorist attack." What charity is that one? And does it need to wait for a horrible hypothetical attack on America to do any good? Couldn't you just like, donate the author royalties (if there are any at all cause who the fuck is going to buy this thing, especially since its already free on the internet) to like, the Red Cross or something? Habitat for Humanity? The Tsunami Fund? No? Ok.

If anyone actually does this, I will give you money. Please comment or email me and let me know. exadore@gmail. I will pass out crisp single dollar bills like you were a stripper or something.

Have fun kids!

Terror! Terror! Terror!