Meltwater

The summer had been good. That much had been clear. The summer been almost idyllic, almost like when they first met, when they were first learning each other’s charms, each other’s surfaces, when everything was still new and exiting, when flaws were accepted as ornaments, as tiny gems that revealed deeper character, before they grew, before they overtook everything, spreading like cracks in a dying wall. That was what the summer was like.

They were in love again, maybe. Maybe. So Don proposed. He hadn’t thought much about it, in fact he had been dreaded her mother's repeated questions on the subject as recently as that spring. He hadn't thought much about it, he just did it. He didn’t even have a ring, just a pen which he used to draw a crude but beautiful little ballpoint ring on Shell's finger until the next day when they chose a real one that gleamed like snow and meltwater, that gleamed like her flaws.

Don proposed and Shell said what the hell? She actually said it, What the hell? Not Yes or Yeah or Okay or even Sure but What the hell? As in What else am I doing with my life? What do I have to lose? She said what the hell and in the spirit of the spontaneous proposal, the nonchalant acceptance, and the silly ring of ink they had planned a quick wedding, a whirlwind engagement of only a few months before the passion ran thin, before the summer became the winter again. They had planned a quick wedding but they had not planned the postponement. Or the next one. Or the next. Or the extra weight, the bruised expectations and the bruising sky.

And now the snow was lying in thick ropes outside, covering everything like cracked makeup, like dry cake and grease, like whispered words that turned to steam.

And now the snow was painting the world into unfamiliar shades and unfamiliar shapes.

And now it was cold.

And now it was winter again.

And now Shell--her voice catching in her throat, her eyes cracking like breathing glass, her body swelling like ripened telegrams dangling from the clouds at night--now Shell was an unfamiliar shape too.